


Prerickament

by catsukii



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Dimensions, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, Drugs, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader and Rick are probably the same in intelligence, Recreational Drug Use, Science Fiction, Smart Reader, Stolen Memories, reader is more emotional
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:15:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23610667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsukii/pseuds/catsukii
Summary: There was a time when you were happy because of the good things in life. You had a husband and a daughter, time went by and now you're sitting in a bar at three in the morning looking for that 'high' again.
Relationships: Rick Sanchez/Original Female Character(s), Rick Sanchez/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. s02/e01 - a rickle in time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick, Summer and Morty essentially break time and end up non-existent to any timeline.

There was a bar on a planet called Squanchers where they had a drink. It wasn't an amazing drink, it was only mediocre but it held potential and it almost got you arrested when the bar owners thought you were going to buy the drink to sell it individually. Planet Squanch wasn't a strict planet and you enjoyed it because of it's bright atmosphere and it's uneven buildings that brought you an odd sense of comfort.

Squanchy often met you here to have a drink and only he knew that you were stealing the drink, he wasn't sure why and you wouldn't tell him so he didn't bother. He just wanted to get shit-faced drunk and relax with his best friend.

The drink was called Squanchk, you had to really emphasise the 'k' sound at the end of the word so that they understood you when you said it. It pissed you off but normally when you got to Planet Squanch, Squanchy already knew what you wanted. You always left with a couple of bottles of it and came back with two empty hands. He only agreed to let you do what you wanted as long as he as in on it when the task was completed.

When you were away from Planet Squanch, you went to Gear World where you had met up with Revolio Clockberg Jr. again. You hated the guy, he was so fucking irritating and he consistently believed that he had to remind you about what had happened in the gear wars. In return, you just called him 'Gearhead' - which was really a racist slur in his language but hey, it wasn't your planet and you didn't give a shit.

"Oh, [Name], You're back. I was just fixing this car with my engineering, would you like me to take a look at yours?"

He turned his body to face you when the portal opened and you walked through, "Are you stupid? I just came through a portal, Gearhead."

His gears turned, "Okay, calling me Gearhead is like calling a Chinese person Asia face." You rolled your eyes at him and walked away from his repair shop. You walked passed the gear-people and ended up in an alley where gear rats ran past you and you noticed some gear-people with sketchy appearances who handed each other bolts for oil as they watched you cautiously. You kept walking and then a came to a stop in front of a rusted door.

You knocked three times, a second apart and then it opened and another gear-person allowed you to enter. The place was dark and small, a narrow hallway which led to a room that was square. There was a table in the middle and three gear-men sat around it playing gear-poker.

"[Name], you want to play or are you here for the stuff?" They all stopped to look at you and you scoffed at the gear-mans offer, "Last time I played, you all lost your gear-money. Yo-You all remember that or should I rem- _urrp_ -remind you? I had to go to freakin' Blips and Chitz though so that was pretty cool. I heard they're gonna update Roy.. I love that fucking game."

"Alright, we get it, just get the stuff and get out of here. You're making Orbitile nervous." Chuckling, you lifted the blanket that covered the table and grabbed the duffle-bag underneath it. 

When standing again, you looked at Orbitile when he averted your gaze and you fake-charged at him and he flinched, knocking the entire table as the bolts fell to the floor, you laughed out loud and walked out, "Ahh~ I love doing that! Orbitile, keep it up!"

Soon after exiting the small alley, you opened a portal and the green swirled enveloped you as you now found yourself at an intergalactic pawnshop. There were so many pieces of shit here and the alien behind the counter was huge, light brown skin with yellow eyes and two horizontally-shaped pupil's that were orange. He had a monobrow too and a mullet and once his eyes landed on the green portal before him, he sighed at the thought of two possible insane scientists entering.

Without wasting a moment, you entered with the duffle-bag hooked around your shoulder and looked around the counter tops to find the coprocesserlyser that was also needed for to take back to C-137. The man at the counter watched you with his hands crossed and you stopped at a woman-robot device, "I wasn't aware that you sold sex dolls in here, I bet it isn't even clean."

The alien glared at you, his arms crossed and you searched around more, "You got a coprocesserlyser or what, man?"

"Man? I'm not from the dirt planet called, 'Earth,' I've got the coprocesserlyser 2000 and the 3500 edition, which one are you after?"

"The cheapest on-" He raised a brow and waited when you heard a beeping. Your face dropped and your breath was caught in your throat. You didn't understand what was happening but you had to leave.

"Hurry up! Just get me the 2000 and your newest plumbus." You rushed, grabbing sixty-five smidgens from your bag as you clammed in on the table. He grabbed what you need, taking his god damned time in getting the plumbus but you couldn't wait and when he turned back to the counter to had it over, the coprocesserlyser was gone and so were you when he got a glimpse of your green portal hole disappearing.

Through the portal, you ended up in dimension C-137 and you ran to the Smith's residence as the door was slammed open by your leg, the duffle-bag was heavy but you kept going, the drinks and the bags inside stayed in place as you held the coprocesserlyser while Jerry watched you with two wide eyes, "Oh [Name]! Have you found er, Rick and Morty yet?"

Beth appeared as well, her clothing as filthy and teared up as her pathetic husbands, "Oh shut up already, we all know you're happier than a gromflomite getting their hands on the secret of interdimensional travel now that Rick and Morty aren't around. They left you, all three of you because they ruined this dimension and couldn't save it. It was for Rick's convenience and now you're stuck here, alright?"

Summer teared up but you sighed and walked past, going up the stairs of the home to enter Mortys room that had now been transformed into a laboratory. You shuffled to your desk, placed the things down and opened the monitor on the table which had been linked to Rick's location. He was non-existent.

_"What the fuck, Rick!"_


	2. s02/e02 - mortynight run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rick sells krombopulos Michael a gun for money so he can go to blips and chitz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/3

You hadn't been aware of what they had been doing, those bloody imbeciles; Rick Sanchez and Morty Smith, along with Mortys sister, Summer Smith but they had gotten themselves out of it one by one and the relief you felt could almost outweigh the depression and lack of self-worth you felt; _almost._

After finding them again on the monitor, you stared at them for a short while as they stood in the garage of the house, also known at Rick's laboratory. They conversed and Rick seemed to be condescendingly scolding them as Morty and Summer looked as if they were clueless, completely confused or naive about what they'd gone through.

You didn't care as long as they were still alive - even if they were in another dimension.

After finding the three of them okay, you had to focus on your task again and so you grabbed the duffle-bag and opened it just as the door opened behind you, "Get out."

Summer only walked in further and soon stood beside you when you grabbed the bottles of the Squanchk that you had gotten from Planet Squanch and then pulled out the bags of crystallised powder, they were green and turned multiple bright colours that resembled the rainbow in the light. Summer almost touched it before you slammed the coprocesserlyser and slammed that on the desk as well, "Don't touch anything, Jesus christ, do you want to die?"

She shook her head and retracted her hand, "No, I just wanna help, come on Grandma [Name]."

"What-wh-why're you calling me that? What'd I say about calling me that?"

As you growled the words out, you poured the Squanchk into the coprocesserlyser and then added half of the amount in powdered wheels from Gearworld, the rare kind and then you twisted the cap of the coprocesserlyser and commenced mixing as if it was a blender from dimension C-137 - where you were now, or the planet you would call 'Earth.'

"I mean, Mum thinks you're her, are you my Mums Mum?" Her voice was full of curiousity but you didn't answer until the coprocesserlyser finished and it beeped three times, clicking the cap open when some steam came out, "Block your facial orifices, these fumes are the most concentrated. You could literally die if you inhale this shit."

Summer cringed and backed away when you spoke while your arm had crossed over your face to cover your mouth and nose while standing back for the sake of your eyes, "Can't you just tell me? I won't tell anybody.." She was persistent and it was fucking annoying, "Oh yeah, who would you tell, if you could? It's not like your gonna talk to those cronenburgs and they won't go near you."

"They're like so gross though, I wouldn't want them to ruin my-" She looked down to realise that her shirt was already ruined, "Well done, Sum Sum. Now get out of here before you get higher than a kite."

You didn't see it as you back was turned, but she had smiled at the name you called her and you didn't even realise you had said it. She only needed that to know who you really were and then left as she closed the door behind her.

After mixing the Squanchk and rare powdered wheels from Gearworld into the coprocesserlyser, you had taken a portal back to Planet Squanch to get back to the bar and sell the goods you created. Once the people saw the crowd that had grown upon your arrival, they knew that you had stocked up on your drink and everyone came to even have a drop of it.

Tourists from dimensions you'd never even heard of came as well, as fucked up as they looked but you still allowed them to taste your drink.

They didn't speak the same language as you and some may even get violent when receiving a stingy dosage, you didn't care and you had Squanchy next to you when he evolved into something like the last pokemon revolution of himself and a mix of the hulk when he grew super tall and full of muscles.

"Lo-look Mo- _urrp_ -Morty! Look at all thes-these aliens, you know? They came he-here from all over the mu-mul-multi-multiverse to have some of th-this- _urrp_ -this drink. You know, last time I came, Mo-Morty, they were out of stock! No more! But it's back, baby~!"

You heard the voice, it was fairly close and the bar doors were open, it was a normal type of bar except for the things you could order here. Your drink wasn't actually legal so it wasn't known unless you knew the name but new visitors could get a small taste of it to assure you a base of consumers. You didn't know which Rick was about to walk through those doors and it frightened you, but you also knew that you didn't have to worry too much.

The bar was indoors though there was a separate room through another door when Squanchy let people in whilst doing so in an orderly fashion so it didn't get too crowded. Whenever people seemed to hear that there was more in stock, the planet was always growing with people and tourists like crazy.

"Oh geez, Ri-Rick, there's a lot of people here.."

"Of course there is, Morty! You do-don't understand the true val-value of this drink! Th-This is like fi-finding the secret menu at Shoneys, only it's li- _urrrrp_ -like a gazillion times greater." The man finally walked through with his grandson and you had been in front of the fridge in another room when you could hear them a lot clearer. Squanchy stood by the door of the room and you held a box next to you on a table. It had a lock and you also kept a gun on the waistband of your shorts to keep the people in line.

"We-We gotta get this stuff quickly though, I've gotta finish som-some business later and then were gonna go to Blips and Chitz~! Wooooh~! G-Gonna play Roy!"

The green drink moved fast, aliens came in and bought it, handing you the money without a care so that they could feel the high that it provided, even if it was just for a few moments. Then it came to Rick, he was with Morty and you noticed Jerry sneaking in behind him. You couldn't help raising a brow at Jerry to which he looked away frightfully which made you curious.

"Which uh.. Which Rick are you?"

Rick raised a brow, appearing suspicious as he was about to hand over one hundred and ninety smidgens, "C-137.. Who are you?"

_Oh._

He was the one who had been watching, the one you'd always been keeping an eye on and he stood right in front of you waiting to be served the drink of the multiverse, "Nah uh just wo-wondering if you're the Rick fro-fro-urp-from C-137 cause it's like, cronenburg world now."

His eyes narrowed and Morty started to visibly freak, other aliens were starting to yell in different languages and the gun in your pants was grabbed as a precaution, "Yeah, that was me, an-"

"Who's your Jerry then? I remember Jerry being in C-137, with his Beth and Summer. Just no, Rick and Morty there..."

"Oh geez Ri-Rick, W-we gotta go, sh-she's onto u-us-"

"Shut up, Morty. Jerry, get back in the damn car. Jesus, who told you to follow us? Loo-Look I just came for the stuff, alr- _urrp_ -alright? Here, take the money."

Rick saw the smile growing on your face and you just couldn't help it, you grabbed the gun, pulled it from your pants and aimed for the ceiling, "Squanchy, I'm out!"

A shot was fired and Rick freaked out, yelling about getting away and Morty was screaming too. Jerry had fallen to the floor to crawl towards the exit and you had packed all the money and drinks in your bag when you grabbed your portal gun, you opened a portal in the wall, the green lines swirled around and it moved as you stepped in, "Adios putas, I'll be back, like, someti- _urrrrrp_ -sometime soon haha~!"

Squanchy wrecked half the place trying to control the angered aliens who hadn't gotten their drink and Rick was left to get away with his grandson and his son-in-law wondering who the fuck was that and what the fuck just happened.


	3. s02/e02 - mortynight run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rick sells krombopulos Michael a gun for money so he can go to blips and chitz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2/3

The portal led you to dimension C-137 and you entered the home to see Jerry, Beth and Summer with knives surrounding them. They appeared more savage-like everytime you visited them but you supposed that they had to adapt to their new living conditions. They were the only normal human beings on the planet now as everyone else was now cronenburg.

You had locked the door to your laboratory and then pulled the duffle-bag onto the bed to take some of the money you earned into the pocket of your coat and then you zipped it up with the extra drinks and money inside, stuffing it under the bed in an underground hole that sealed shut after scanning your metallic eye. You left one of the drinks on your bed for you to take with you.

After the hole shut closed, you stood back up from the bed and grabbed the portal gun beside you to slip out to another dimension, taking the flask from the other pocket of your shorts as you twisted the cap open and poured the drink inside, throwing the empty bottle back in your room as you walked through and ended up at the entrance of one of your most favourite places to be - but not for the good reasons that it should've been.

You entered the intergalactic arcade, music bursting around you and people from so many dimensions came to spend money and play games. You walked by, taking another sip of the flask and suddenly, your eyes turned bright green. The objects and aliens in front of you became distorted, coloured in fluro pinks, greens and blue and everything was moving out of shape to float in the air around you causing you to laugh when you steadily found yourself in front of Roy.

Rick sat in the car with Morty in the driving seat, they both heard a knock on the window and Rick sighed when he rolled down the window, he was cautious as to what to do with the assassin awaiting his end of the deal.

"Hey Rick! How's it going man, long time no see!" Krombopulos Michael stood there with his suit on, ready for his mission. He stood by proudly and waved in greeting towards Morty too, "Hey! I'm Krombopulos Michael, I buy weapons from your grandpa to go out and assassinate people, oh, here you go Rick." He proceeded to pass over a bag of flurbos; 3000 to be exact and Rick took it without hesitation, irritated by the information Krombopulos Michael carelessly spilled to his grandson because of the scolding he'd surely receive.

"Wo-okay, man, thi-this is _my_ grandson, alright- here, thank you and goodbye."

"No problem! Here, you can take my card and anytime or anywhere you want someone dead, just call me! I don't even care who or what it is; like a baby, a woman or even an old person! I'll kill 'em! Catchya later, Rick!" He walked away and Morty looked down at the card he'd been given by the gromflomite who had just left and he glared at his grandpa, "An assassin? You sell weapons to assassins!?"

"Oh boy.."

The helmet to play Roy sat on your head and your eyes rolled to the back of your head when the game began and then you found yourself in a small boys body, waking up from bed when your mother came in to check on you. Instead of finding you in the bed though, your mother found the bed empty and the window open.

Roy jumped out of the window and landed on the ground, running away from the suburbs to end up in the forest as you kept going and then you skipped to your teenage years as you found yourself in an alley. Everybody in there had guns and weapons and you walked to someone inside, kicked them down without skipping a beat to clamp your arms around their neck and have them fall asleep.

Roy then grabbed the gun and cocked to the bystanders and left without being caught.

Skip to Roy's twenties and you went to the white house to assassinate the president without being caught, huge protesting and chaos followed but you ended up in the presidential seat now. As the entire government was under your control, you were rich and famous and feared by everyone, Roy was at the top of the food chain.

"Co-come on, Morty! Let's go play Roy, it's my fa-favou-favourite game here!" Rick lead Morty through the arcade and then they caught someone already playing Roy. You had been sitting them with two glowing eyes and no pupils as you played and lead Roy into his fifties when he was in a mansion playing poker with one of the biggest mafia leaders.

Rick watched the screen play and a bunch of other aliens came by to observe the way you played Roy and lead his life, "Ho-Holy fuck.." 

"Lo-Look Rick, selling weapons to an a-assassin is just the sa-same as pulling the trigger, you know?" Rick rolled his eyes as he heard his grandson behind him, he turned to him briefly and spoke with a glare, "Yeah, and it's also the same as doing nothing! You're up next, you turd."

He gestured to the game and saw that Roy had been cornered by the same mafia that he was playing poker with, his house was surrounded but instead of being caught, Roy grabbed a detonator from his pocket and ended his life, exploded the building and killed all of his enemies at the age of ninety-four.

Your eyes fell back to reality and you observed the screen with a smirk, "Holy shit, she got Roy to take over the government and exploded himself and killed the people who were coming for him!" You removed the helmet and your eyes continued to glow when you almost fell, you had lost control and fell to the side, two arms crashing into you when they steadied you and you stood again, "S-sorry, Rick.."

He narrowed his eyes in confusion and spoke, "How'd you know my name? Wait, Aren't you the one who was selling the stuff on Planet Squanchy?"

Smiling, you nodded and shoved the helmet on Morty's head as he fumed in anger, "I'd never forget you, Rick, didn't you know?"

Completely out of it, high on the drugs in the drink and seeing distorted rainbows and aliens everywhere around you, you took a step back and glanced around to see what other game you could play.

"H-hey, wait, who a- _urp_ -are you?!" Rick stuttered as he usually did and you weren't paying attention when you noticed someone else with the same eyes as you, a darker green in their eyes when they smiled and laughed at nothing. You approached the alien, he was tall and had a slug-like body and you brought your portal gun out and this caught Rick's attention when he was troubled on whether he should follow you or stay with his grandson.

"Hey, where'd you get the stuff?" The alien looked down at you, poking your arm to see if you were real and spoke, "Flubba gubba neeko glibbo." Rolling your eyes, you shot the portal gun to the alien as it formed inside of it, slicing its body straight in half and then the portal went away, "He-hey! I knew it! That's m-my portal gun!"

_"Who the fuck is distributing the stuff without me knowing!"_

He stopped, everyone stopped too and their eyes looked between the dead alien as blue blood spilled all over him and yourself and they noticed the dazed look in your eyes, along with the deranged frown when you looked everywhere and noticed more aliens who eyes resembled the dead aliens.

"Tell me _who the fuck_ is making the stuff or else you'll end up like that piece of shit."

Everybody knew what you were referring to, _the stuff,_ was the name given to keep your name and its ingredients out of it so no one knew who sold it or how it was made. There was a red curtain leading to a room in the far edge of the arcade, you entered without hesitation and opened a portal right beside you, slipping half of your body through to grab a gun from another dimension ruled by guns and then came back to fire it at the alien who'd been sitting with a box beside him full of money and more drinks in a the fridge behind him.

"You assholes think you can double-cross me?! I own this shit, I made it and I sell it! I find anyone else selling this stuff beside me then I'll kill all of you!" The aliens reached for their guns but you had already fired at them, splatting their blue blood all over the walls when their bodies smashed into the wall from the force of the shot.

You emerged from the hidden room covered in blood and then you found yourself beside Rick again, who'd been staring like a gobsmacked glipglop until he noticed that Morty had finished playing Roy and he began freaking out when he noticed he wasn't in his carpet store anymore.

"Th-That's my portal gun.. Why do you have it?" The green in your eyes subsided until it disappeared and then your eyes were white, "Oh, I've had this for about twenty years now, Rick." The feeling of knowing something that he didn't, it made you feel good and you wanted to keep it up, you felt like you should continue to keep this paramount information from him but you also knew it was wrong because of the guilt you felt. The guilt that threatened to consume you everyday for the past twenty odd years.

"Ho-How thoug-"

"Rick? Is-Isn't this the same girl from that ot-other planet, Squanch- or something?" The fourteen year old boy looked at up at you in question and Rick felt too confused and not in control of the situation. It was starting to piss him off, "Yes, Morty. It is, why does it seem like you know something I don't?"

"I think every- _urp_ -everyone knows something that someone else doesn't." Morty took a moment to think about it, realising what you had said and understood as Rick immediately answered, "Yeah, that doesn't matter when you're the smartest man in the universe."

He was defiant and stubborn, moving to sit in the chair and placed the Roy helmet on his head as his eyes rolled back to his mind, you smiled and looked at him and Morty caught this, "D-do you know grandpa Rick?"

Nodding, he continued to speak, "Ohh geez, lo-look I'm sorry if-if he uh did something to you, bu-but uhm ple-please don't kill him. I-I mean he probably deserves it bu-but I won't have a ri- wait!"

He stopped and you watched him carefully as he neared you with desperation in his eyes, "Yo-You can help me, ri-right! Can you take me to-to this place! It's an emergency!"

"Uh, what about Rick?"

"Wh-who cares ab-about him, alright? He's the as-asshole selling weapons to assassins!" You couldn't help raising a brow as you didn't particularly see the problem in that but you still you followed as he tugged on your jacket to try and get you to help him, "Alright, alright but behave and don't d- _urrrp_ -do uh, anything stupid."

He was quiet, handing over the card with the location that he was heading for, "You know uh, you re-remind me of Rick a lot with the way-"

"The way what, huh, Morty?"

"Ne-nevermind.." He lead you to the car that he had parked in the parking lot. He opened the car as he left Rick behind and you stepped into the passenger seat as he stared at you, "What? You can drive, right?"

He nodded hesitantly, "Uh yeah, I mean- I-I'm still learning." The blood that had been all over your clothes and face was drying but you found a dirty coat on the floor of the space cruiser to wipe it and then your face was clean again, "Well chop chop then, my time is valuable."

He started the space cruiser and proceeded to fly out of the parking lot and you guided him through space, to the location that Krombopulos Michael was. 

"So uh... Why were you uh covered in all that al-alien blood.." He kept his eyes straight out the windshield and you kicked you feet up to rest as you clicked your tongue, "Some assholes thought they could sell my shit. They actually thought that they could make it themselves and distribute it. Morty, anyone who does that, dies."


	4. s02/e02 - mortynight run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rick sells krombopulos Michael a gun for money so he can go to blips and chitz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3/3

Crashing into the wall, Morty landed right on top of his 'location,' you looked around and sighed in disappointment when noticing the detached arm a few feet away from the space cruiser, "Jesus Christ, Morty! You landed on Krombopulos Michael and what's even worse is that we're at a Galactic Federation outpost!"

"Wai- a-are you wanted by the Galactic Federation too?!"

You stopped and stared at him when he exited the vehicle and observed a dead Krombopulos Michael under the ship, you couldn't believe what was happening and you didn't understand why Morty even wanted to be here, "Oh no, I just sell illegal substances and savagely murder people and/or aliens but me and the federation are like this!" He watched with a slightly dropped jaw when you held your hand in front of you, your pointer and middle finger crossed around each other as you smiled carelessly in a mocking fashion.

"Ohh jeez, wh-what do I- what should I- oh jee-"

"Could you relax? I don't need someone who killed an assassin to be having an anxiety attack right now, lets just go back to Blips and Chitz, alright? Your grandpa won't even realise that we left." Just as you finished speaking, another portal opened besides the passenger door of the car and hence you hopped over the seats to exit through the driver seat and you followed Morty as he watched Rick emerge with a small frown on his face, "What the hell, M-Morty! Do you even realise where we are?!"

"Oh Rick, Uh," He took a short, nervous glance at you, "A Galactic Government outpost, I know! But I didn't mea-"

Rick saw you and he grew curious once again when you seemed so familiar with a kid you had never met, or he thought you had never met, "Yeah... Listen, how about we jus-just go back to- _uruup_ -uh, to Blips and Chitz, we can act like this never happened!"

"He saved my life." You turned to see a floating blue cloud like being, it sparkled with different kinds of gems that glowed blue, red and green and it spoke with a monotonous and dull voice when it made itself known. It had been floating in a spot as there were multiple yellow wires connected to it which lead you to believe that it was either being experimented on or they were keeping it captive.

"What, wh- are you Krombopulos Michael's target? W-w-w-what's your name?" Morty spoke without hesitance and stuttered just as Rick did, you couldn't exactly say anything when it could also occur to you but that was most likely because of all the toxins that your body had been through. Or all the toxins that had been through your body. It replied again, it's shining rocks glowing randomly with every word it spoke, "My kind has no use for names.. I communicate through what you call Jessica's feet-"

"Foot fetish Morty." You mumbled and Rick heard, almost cracking a smirk.

"No, telepathy."

"Nice save."

Rick stepped up as Morty had approached the fart-looking creature and he spoke boisterously but with an annoyed nature while also gesturing to the way you had cross your arms, showing that you were bothered by what was going on, "Re-really, Morty? You ki-kill my best customer but you saved a mind-reading fart?"

"I like this name; Fart. Morty, would you please help my by pulling the level to your left? I am in great pain."

"Morty, don't do it." Rick warned Morty but he walked over to the lever anyway and you saw his hand reaching for it to pull it down, "Morty, come on, think about why that fart is wired up ther- no? Okay." You watched as the wires disappeared and then sirens sounded throughout the building, red lights flashed around the walls of the room and Morty realised what he had done.

"Wha-what the hell Morty! You know that Fart is gaseous, it won't go through a portal." Rick nodded, pointing his hands at you to emphasise what you had said and the teenage boy only hopped into the car as he sat back in the drivers seat while Rick watched. Instead of closing the door, Morty waited for you to enter as you climbed over him, "O-Oh my-Oh-" 

Sitting in the seat, Morty spoke and Rick stood outside, "We-well I guess we're just gonna get in the car, ri-right uh-"

"Fart."

"No- ju-just uh, nevermind! Get in."

Morty closed the door as the Fart and yourself sat inside, you lifted you feet up on the dashboard and the Fart only floated inside, "Morty, come on, I don't wanna deal with this. I wanna just go back to Blips and Chitz." Morty noticed the way Ricks eyes would move on over to you before looking back at him, "Look you've been clear on the fact that you don't wanna deal with this, so just go away."

Rick shrugged his shoulders as he growled to himself, bothered by Mortys behaviour and actions when he formed a portal, took one last glance over to you when he caught you glaring at the Fart before he disappeared with mixed emotions.

Morty struggled to start the car and you folded your arms over when two gromflomites finally arrived with their weapons as they warned Morty to leave the vehicle, they threatened to shoot and sweat rolled down Morty's forehead as he practically squealed in fear and nervousness, "Ah-uh, hurry- please star-!"

He'd take tentative glances at you for help and as much as you tried to ignore them as punishment for letting the Fart go, you just grabbed the portal gun in your side and opened a portal on the ceiling away from the space cruiser. A waterfall fell from the portal and it took everything from the ground, including the two gromflomites away as more arrived when they all swirled around the space ship while the portal closed just as you could open another in the ground as everything got flushed into another dimension.

A second after the portal closed, Rick opened his own and entered again with narrowed eyes directed at you when he got a glance at your portal when it was closing in the ground, "Stupid, carpet store saving, mother fu- move!" He moved to the driver side of the ship and opened the door, sitting as he shoved Morty to the passenger seat while he was squished in between Rick and yourself while Fart continued to float around Morty and yourself.

"Fucking Fart, move Morty, I'm going to the back." He let you hop over him and you jumped to the back as the ship move, "Did you mess with my seat settings?!"

The seat in front of you moved back and then forward a bit and you noticed more of the gromflomites with the federation coming in higher alert because of the situation, "I wanna know where the hell you got my freaking port-portal gun!" He didn't look at you as you stared at him and Morty was smiling a little when he allowed Rick to drive, glancing at you when you couldn't help the upward twitch of your lips.

Leaving the Federation outpost, you found yourself in Gearworld where Rick had parked at the repair shop that Gearhead owned. Once he had the space cruiser lifted so he could take a look, you sat on the ground in front of the tv that hung from the ceiling to pass the boredom, "[Name] you're back ear-"

"Say another world and I'll put your gearsticles in your mouth, Gearhead." You put emphasis on the name that he hated and he narrowed his eyes at you when taking the wrench from the ship as he turned his body to you, Rick and Morty listening in silence when Rick learned that you were a lot different than he thought. He was really suspicious of you but you hadn't really done anything to make him try anything violent as of yet.

"Alright, geez. I didn't mean to make you angry, I just didn't know if you needed more st-"

"Gearhead."

"Y-You know Gearhead?" Rick walked closer to you, "Uh," You gave him a wondering look, unsure if you should be sharing this information, "Yeah, I mean- I get some stuff to make u-uh, the stuff from here."

"[Name].. That name sounds sort of familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?" He questioned you and even Morty was watching him with an odd look, you only chuckled and mumbled, "If only you knew.."

"Yeah, _if,_ that's why I bloody asked-"

"Hey Rick, I don't mean to interrupt-"

"Which you literally just did." He ignored your raised brow and Rick snorted in agreement but Gearhead continued, "You know, you really need to take care of your gears, I mean do you even know what took place in the Gear Wars-"

"I know, I think [Name] does too," You gave Rick two finger guns as he was most certainly correct, "But it isn't my problem if my grandson drives like a male Brava Dean, yeah I said it. Some stereotypes are based in facts."

"It's actually because of years of neglect, you really need to respect your gears, Rick."

"Could you maybe, just fix it? Jeez, do you want to get paid or what?" You turned away from Gearhead to see the television again and Rick looked at you, walked to Morty and Fart and then spoke, "Look, the gromflomites shouldn't be able to track us here but it looks like we'll be here for a while- o-or you know, if you still have that gun that Michael had we could j-ju-just finish the job and go home."

This perked your interest and you crawled over to Fart as he floated around you whilst listening to Rick speak, "I can here you."

You flinched and laughed aloud, "Ah~ That scared me, so why not Morty?"

Morty looked in between Rick and yourself in disbelief and he sighed, "We're taking F-Fart back home, okay." You nodded, "S-super responsible of y-you, Morty well done."

He smiled and you burped as you spoke again, " _-uuurpppp-_ Just kidding, jeez I was literally against this the entire time - are you that gullible?" He frowned and you spoke again, "I bet this thing was in for something serious anyway, I mean we're already on the tv." Both of them saw the television which was showing an image of the three of you, "They could've at least gotten more pictures instead of using that, I mean, I lo-look horrible."

"Jeez, you look f-fine, what the hell do they wa-" Police sirens rang outside and Rick looked through the window to see the building surrounded, "Nobody should've known we were here unless someone-" Rick turned around to see Gearhead holding a gun pointed at him. You stood up and growled out Gearheads name. He understood your tone and he knew you were angry but he didn't stop because he'd already ratted you all out to the Gear police.

"You know, you always told me Rick, always look out for number one."

"I meant me! I'm number one, you jackass! You double-crossed me, I thought we were friends!" Gearhead almost spoke when you stormed behind Rick to grab a handle of twigs out a small box and you threw it at Gearheads face. His muffled screams were loud as he tried to get the twigs from his wheel teeth and then you punched him right in the gut, the contact caused a sharp pain in your knuckle but you didn't stop as you grabbed the wheels from his teeth and ripped them out, snatching his gearsticles and then shoving them in his mouth.

"Let's go!"

The four of you sat in the space cruiser, you had escaped Gearhead and the police but now they had been chasing you through the city and they had you surrounded, "Th-that was awesome!" Rick couldn't help yell when he looked back at you momentarily as you chuckled at his excited behaviour, adoring the grin on his face when he spoke.

"Where are we going then, Fart?"

"I'm from an environment that your people call, 'the Promethean Nebula.'"

Rick rolled his eyes and you sat forward on your seat to place your head in between Morty and Rick, "Nice going Morty, it's only a tiny hop eight hundred lightyears away." He looked away as Fart spoke, "Morty, crack the window."

Morty did as he was told when the police ordered Rick to surrender and then he flew out to enter a policemans car and then after a few moments, the car was flying down towards another car. As if it happened like dominoes, the car hit another car and then it hit a massive space ship that carried more Gearpolice and they all exploded, killing civilians and police as you stared, your mouth agape while Rick spoke, "Well Morty, how does it feel to know you saved a life that lead to all these innocent pe-"

"Rick." He stopped and Morty frowned and so did you because he didn't need to feel the guilt that you knew was already plaguing him, he tried to smile at you to show it was okay but you knew it wasn't and you didn't want him to feel that way. Like it was okay to have Rick crush his feelings and his confidence to do what he wanted. Like saving someone who had endangered the entire Gear city's population.

"Well then.." Fart came back into the car and Morty looked mortified when Rick spoke, "Talk about silent but deadly!"

Morty stared at him, "I-I've seen some nerve gas but th-that gas go-got nerve!" You deadpanned at him and leaned forward, "Are you done?"

"Oh you know, [Name], gone with the wind, am I right? You know, and if you don't li-like that one then you could be li-like Casablanca! Alright, I'm done."

Rick held the steering wheel as he drove and you got bored of the silence, "So uh, what are y-you in for?"

"Someones been to the Galactic Federation prison.." Rick mumbled aloud and you grumbled obscenities under your breath as you couldn't deny it, "Wait, yo-you're serious? How'd yo-you know that, Rick?"

"I didn't."

"Whatever, just answer, Fart." The fart answered you in a solemn voice as he added seventy-one protons to oxygen and shat out a chunk of pure gold.

"Woah, we've got a gold-shitting machine chilling in the backseat of this 'car made of trash,' quote unquote from the gromflomites. Awesome pawesome." You snatched the gold and stuffed it in your jacket and Rick spoke hastily, "Wh-what the fuck, no wonder the entire government was on our ass! Let's just leave so we can go back to Blips and Chitz."

"Are you serious? Morty's literally been responsible for like a hundred of innocent peoples deaths and you wanna go back there!?" Rick looked at you annoyed when he left the Gearworld's atmosphere to fly through space, "Oh what, so I can't talk about Morty's kil-killing spree but you can, what gave you the free pass?"

"Shut up.."

The silence came again and you couldn't help but try and count every single dead star that you past, everything was so vast and wondrous and it was amazing that this was space, endless space and time with infinite dimensions and in some of those, Rick was yours and you were Ricks.

"Maybe I should tell Rick so that we could be happy aga-"

_"What the fuck! Get out of my head, you asshole! That's harassment! Stop!"_

The space cruiser started shaking when your yells scared Rick, Morty screamed out of fear and your face bursted into heat when you didn't waste a moment to shoot a portal right on the window of the ship and dive in, escaping from the telepathic gaseous being who would speak your thoughts without a moments hesitation in front of the one man who should've heard it the most but couldn't.


	5. s02/e03 - auto erotic assimilation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rick, morty and summer meet unity, whom rick used to date and summer doesn't approve of her taking control over the planet's population.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/2

A distress signal flared in the space cruiser while Rick was driving, Summer sat in the backseat and Morty sat beside Rick. The light of the signal alerted Rick, bringing a smile to his face in excitement when he pressed the beacon to get the location, "Ooh~ Yeah, distress beacon- _urrrrp_ -yeah baby!"

"You're excited about that?"

"Number one rule of space, kids. Whenever there's a distress beacon, nine out of ten times it's a ship full of dead alien bodies and free shit!"

He turned his ship towards the location of the beacon, "One out of ten times it's a death trap b-but I'm ready to take those chances~!"

The three of them landed on a ship shortly after and it was empty, eerily quiet and there were cobwebs on the walls. Rick lead Summer and Morty with a flashlight in his hand and Summer crossed her arms with an unsure look on her face, "Seems like something terrible happened here.."

"Yep, cha-ching. Oh, and if you guys happen to find any eggs, don't shy away from it. Give one of them a shake, those face huggers are worth more than this ship." 

_BANG_

Summer turned around at the loud echo, "What.. was that?!" Morty turned too, frightened at the multiple possibilities of who or what it could be and then the three of them heard steps coming towards them from the dark hallway that they had just come from,

"Ri-Rick?"

The steps got louder and Rick slowly moved forward, his eyes narrowed and he steadily got in front of his grandkids when they stared at the darkness. Rick then pointed his flashlight at the hall and saw a person coming with a hideous body structure, once the persons face was reveal, Rick couldn't help smile, "[Name]!" He coughed immediately, "I-I ma- oh, hey [Name]."

"What? Oh hey guys, ooh Summer's here too, how's it goin' chicka?"

Rick, Morty and Summer saw that the odd lump on your back was actually a bag of goods that you had found around the ship and Morty smiled at the sight of you, "He-hey [Name]."

"Morty." You had nodded in greeting to him and then turned to Rick, winking as you lightly shook the bag of things on your back, "Wa- who is this? And why do you know my name?"

You smiled at her as Rick stood by you and you spoke carelessly as she stared at you skeptically, "Let's just say I've met you before, in another dimension."

Rick appeared visibly disappointed and irritated, "Urgh, seriously? Don't tell me you've met another douchebag called Rick too." You shook your head, "Well there's an entire citadel of them, Rick.." He clicked his tongue and then an automated door opened as multiple people with light blue skin came through with worried faces. Rick saw them in surprise and you dropped the bag on your back as he smiled to hide the fact that he was going to steal from the ship, "Oh hey, thank god you're alive.."

"Can you help us! Our planet was taken over by some sort of.. entity! It absorbed the minds of our people!" The lady in front spoke, her breath ragged as she desperately sought help for the remainder of her crew, "We didn't know it was happening before it was too late." Another male spoke beside the lady, "The people it takes over, it looks like yours friends and your family but their not, anymore.. There.. part of it!"

"H- _urp-excuse me,_ how do you know it didn't get on the ship with you?" You pointed out and they looked at you in surprise, Rick saw the two people standing behind the group of four and spoke with disinterest, "Those two ding-dongs look pretty calm about the entire thing."

They screamed, high-pitched and you cringed at the sound when the two beings that seemed hypnotised grabbed the other people and began spewing a thick, green liquid into their mouths, forcing it down their throats and then the victims stood as if completely unaffected whilst being controlled by the unknown 'entity.'

"Called it." Rick uttered and you nudged him, "How didn't they even notice."

He rolled his eyes, smirking a little, "I know right." He reached into his coat to grab a gun and then all six of the aliens from the ship stared at Rick, they all simultaneously broke out into a smile and spoke together, "Hello Rick, long time no see."

You raised a brow and thought back to who this may have been considering the amount of checking up on Rick sort of but not really stalking you had done and then his eyes widened ,"Unity?"

"Rick?" Summer and Morty looked up at their Grandpa in confusion, looking for answers as you had been glaring at Unity, it caught this and smirked your way before smiling again when Rick looked at it, "Oh boy- uh, this is my grandkids, Summer and Morty." He looked at the two teenagers nervously and avoided looking at you, "Summer, Morty, this is Unity - we sorta.. used to uh, date."

Unity lead Rick, Morty, Summer and yourself to it's ship and once Rick and his grandkids were in, Unity stopped you briefly with a smile, all six of the aliens that she had just taken control of, smiling at you kindly, "Sorry, I didn't introduce myself-"

"You didn't have to, I heard your name like twice and that you used to date Rick, the intention of being nice and trying to be kind is wasted on me."

Unity looked a little shocked as she stared at you, her smile fell but your face hadn't changed from the calm and neutral expression it held, you walked passed her and Rick as well when you exited the main part of the ship, taking your flask from your jacket to twist the cap open and take a large swig when you ignored the scientist you adored.

"You got quite an operation goin' here, Une. You're a whole planet now, huh?" Rick let himself down the ramp of the ship and approached the woman alien standing in front of the entire crowd that watched with no expression on their faces. You didn't like the feeling it gave you, you didn't like the thought of an entire population being controlled against their will with no freedom in any aspect whatsoever.

Perhaps these people weren't great before but it didn't mean that a single entity could forcibly take control over them, "After we broke up, I spent a lot of time wandering through space-"

A male next to her continued, "Then I was able to find this world-" And another one spoke up with a deeper voice, "Where I was better able to focus on my passion for unification."

You cocked an eyebrow from beside Summer, "So, taking away peoples freedom?"

"Or stealing peoples bodies?" You smiled lowly at Summer when she mirrored you and then Rick shook his head, attempting to defend his ex-girlfriend as he covered his eyes briefly at his granddaughters salty attitude, "Summer, [Name].. Rude. Why don't y-you guys go play with Unity while me and Unity do some catching up."

"Unity and I."

He narrowed his eyes on you, keeping his eyes on your face for a while longer than intended before some other people came by Morty and Summer to take them somewhere else, "Run along now." He waved you off and you crossed your arms, angered at the thought of what they may do and due to the fact that you couldn't exactly stop it when there was so many of it.

"U-Uh Rick! Aren't these people going to barf into our mouths and absorb us!?"

"Jeez, relax Morty, we're guests here because if something happens to you, who knows what Rick will do, right?" A sweet smile to Morty that reassured him turned deadly when you looked at Rick, pressuring him to defend himself and agree with you because he knew he wouldn't let anything life-threatening happen to his daughters idiotic kids.

And you wouldn't let anything happen to them either, they were to special to you and it didn't really matter what dimension they were from. You guessed this was how Rick saw life and love though, because he had so many versions of his family, they meant so little to him.

Unity smiled and you came to the conclusion that the body Unity used the most, which was this woman dressed in a formal suit and skirt, had been the president or leader of this population because of how dominant it was in this body, "[Name] is right, I won't let any harm come to you two- I mean, three."

"Alright, g-go-"

"Did you just say two? Did you guys hear that? It said two. Oh, if you think you can hurt me you better think twice, bitch."

"Woah, [Name], let's cool it down with the hostility - this is my ex-girlfriend." Rick was genuinely surprised by the malicious look upon your face, the was your eyes burned as they stared daggers at Unity and then he seemed to piece something together, "Wait, do you know Unity?"

"No god dammit, _I'm your wif- shit,_ I'm bored, I'm going to look around this piece of crap." You took the flask out again, and with your other hand, you had grabbed your portal gun to shoot one into the wall and walk through briefly to grab the stuff you had hidden in your laboratory in dimension C-137 and you emptied the flask down your throat to pour your own drink into it.

When you turned around to go back into the portal to the world Unity was on, along with Rick, Morty and Summer, you were shocked to find Summer behind you, Morty creeping his head through to follow his older sister as he was frightened by the zombie-like people on the planet ruled by a hivemind.

 _"Jesus!_ Summer, get out! Morty, don't get in here!" You shooed them out and Summer flinched at your outburst, almost moving out with a sour look before she heard another voice, "Grandma? I'm not in your lab! Did you say Morty?!" You heard C-137 Summer downstairs and sighed in anger, pinching the bridge of your nose when Mortys shaky voice spoke up, "He-hey, Isn't thi- this is my r-room, right?"

"Was that me?!" Summer's eyes were wide and then you shoved them both out, walking through the portal as Morty almost tripped backwards before Unity caught him, "Fucking kids.." Summer and Morty stared after you when you walked away in a haste, they observed the way your posture was slouched over, only straightening up when you tipped the flask into your mouth and they looked at each other, "D-Did that other Summer call he-her.. Grandma?"

You walked alone on the streets as boring and unified people walked by going by with their lives, there were newspaper present with the headline reading, _'World Peace Achieved.'_ and you scoffed at the thought process of this entity who lived to take over other peoples minds and control them like some sort of coward.

Rick had been walking around the streets with Unity, always talking to a new person that was actually it. They discussed it's plan and what Unity was trying to do as it described how they were going to join the Galactic Federation to have access to multiple other dimensions and planets to also take them over and become what the single-minded call a 'God.'

Rick and Unity conversed and spoke of how Unity had grown ever since the time they both met, Rick tried to convince it that he had grown as well only to gain disapproving looks to which he questioned, Rick expressed how he had gotten back with his family - perhaps due to the fact that he was lonely or how he maybe wanted to be with collective again. 

The two hit it off as if they had never left each other and it made you sour. And the only way to avoid them was to go near Summer and Morty. When you found both of them, they had been watching the people of this planet sculpting their faces into a mountain. Morty was eating a burger that he had gotten from a pile of burgers on a plate beside him on the long chair he laid on and Summer had her arms crossed with an annoyed look, not allowing herself to enjoy this when it felt so wrong to her.

"What's wrong with you? There putting your face in a mountain and got you burgers too.." The both of them turned around to see you, relieved to see you had come back and that you were relatively okay. They didn't know that the sight you saw was distorted and colourful, a rainbow mixing through everything in your sight as things were floating or coming to life and the smile on your face only made Summer suspicious, "[Name]? Why're you smiling so creepy?"

Laughing, you ignored her (or you didn't hear the question but that didn't matter) and then you flopped onto the floor besides them while your eyes were bright green, "He-her eyes are green.. Are- are you alright?"

Morty spoke shakily while a half-eaten burger was forgotten in his hands and then Summer rallied quickly, sitting up as one of Unitys bodys stood by her with a fan, "Nothings alright here, Morty! Don't you see, these poor peoples bodies are being used, they're a planet of puppets!"

"I second that!" Morty looked from his sister and then to you quickly, wondering what had happened to you to get like this but he remembered the place that Rick had taken him to, to get a drink that was so rare and special that it was only made and sold by one person in the entire multiverse, you. 

Morty acknowledged the fact that you could indulge yourself in the drink because it was yours but he didn't know you would be so reckless as to turn up in such a messed up state where you couldn't even tell what was the floor and what wasn't. He saw you beginning to swim on the floor and Unitys body spoke with a frown, "Yeah, I can hear you.."

The body looked at you and it's voice got your attention, "You shut up! You're the one raping all these people of their freedom!"

"O-Oh geez, that's a bit to-too much, isn't it, [Name]" You glared at Morty when he frowned and Summer watched you with wide eyes, frightened by your choice of words, "Oh come on, Morty, you're fourteen. Rape isn't just about a sexual activity being forced upon someone, it can also be non-sexual like how Unity is raping these people of their freedom of action and speech because it's taking away their ability to choose whether they'd want to be controlled like a god damn zombie!" 

"I'm angry! Take me to Rick!"

Unity, Morty and Summer silently observed the way you pouted and screamed Ricks name with a desperate tone and they didn't know how to react. You stomped your foot like a child even though you were most likely four decades older than Morty and Unity looked away briefly, "Now's.. not a good time."

Anger bubbled inside you and then Summer stood up with a frown, "No, [Name] is right and this planet isn't!" She stormed off and you followed as Morty looked in between Unity and yourself before finally deciding to follow you. Summer went back into the town and found a megaphone at a store, she stood atop a block in the street and turned it on, yelling as Morty stood by her side to watch as he wasn't sure what he could do.

"Wake up people! You have to fight it! You're under the spell of an evil monster!"

A man came by and stopped as he looked up at Summer. He had a small ponytail and glasses and then Summer jumped down, "I can hear you, you know."

"Yeah, so you keep saying." Summer proceeded to slap the guy, slapping him across the face twice and then again when Morty yelled out for his sister to stop, "Come on, you have to wake up! You have to have some individuality somewhere."

"Why do you hate me, Summer?" The man stood straight and his glasses were crooked on his face, you stood by Morty as you watched what was going on and Summer replied angrily, "I'm not talking to you!"

"Look at her go, look at that Sum Sum go.." Morty looked up at you in fear and then watched as his sister grabbed the wallet off of this man to read out his name, "I'm talking to Steven Felix! Steven, set yourself free!"

"Summer, before I took over this planet, this man was a registered sex offender." She looked a little frightened and backed away, "Well s-so what? At least he was himself.." She looked awkward and you couldn't help laughing, Morty saw that your eyes were still green but they seemed to be going dull as more time past, "He-hey [Name]?"

"Whassup lil' Morty?" He bypassed the odd reply and rubbed the back of his neck, "Wh-what did- I mean.. Are you my Grandma?"

The green faded to a light turquoise and he noticed the large grin on your face that began to drop as Summer continued conversing with the people of this planet and then Morty backed away slightly when your face was completely neutral, "I think you mean Grand-wa~s, am I right or what! Haha~"

"Summer, prostitutes are now scientists, the homeless are now phisosifers..."

His eyes turned cross-eyed and then Summer rolled her eyes, "Oh what? Phisosifers? Where'd you learn how to speak, you grandpa-stealing slut." You stood by Summer, two normal, white eyes watched her and the male as he seemed to cough and then he crouched over as he grabbed his stomach, fell down and vomited the same green liquid that had been puked into him to gain control over his mind.

You stepped back and raised a brow, "Oh nice, really nice view I got here.." The people surrounding you also started collapsing and to your surprise, Summer and Morty got closer to you as they looked around in shock, "Alright I'm some parental over here, let's just go. If you guys put the puzzle pieces together, then you'd know that Unity is most likely intoxicated with drugs or something like fractal dust."

Summer, Morty and yourself walked through the city to see more people vomiting and then they'd stand up again looking different. The man that Unity said was a registered sex offender smiled when he looked at Summer and when she asked what was going on the man, Steven, replied, "Who's Unity? You kids have nice feet, mind if I take a picture?"

"Gross, no!" 

More people were becoming themselves and they were starting to remember their names and their occupations as well. But they also remembered something else that probably, most likely really should've stayed behind and forgotten, "- and as you can see from my flat, concentric nipple rings, _I'm a member of this planets top race!"_


	6. s02/e03 - auto erotic assimilation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rick, morty and summer meet unity, whom rick used to date and summer doesn't approve of her taking control over the planets population

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2/2

More people crowded around and the social anxiety synthesising with your sheer hatred of other animate things forced a sour look on your face when your mind drew darker as you decided to drown it away with another swig of the flask. Morty looked at you mildly worried as he already knew the affects of the drink, "N-no! [Name], please- no-not now!"

You raised a brow out of dissatisfaction and watched an another man approached the male in the middle of the crowd who had been flaunting his nipple rings because he believed that he was more superior to another person on the same planet he lived on, "Hey, wait- I'm Brian and I'm a landscaper-" His face turned dark after rubbing his face from the confusion, "-And I'll be damned if that ripple nipple bitches race is superior. The cone nipple people rule this world!" Ripping his shirt off, he yelled out loud while puffing out his chest to show two small cones over the areas of his nipples.

"Oh, woah- isn't this nice... Huh, Summer?" Nudging the teenage girl, she gave you a grossed out look while your eyes began glowing again, "Oh and I'm the only one here who's not totally opposed to this due to the fact that multiple males - and maybe females - could start ripping their clothes off? Piss off."

"Shut your mouth, you dirty knife nipple bastard!"

"What'd you say to me, you target chest piece of shit!"

Summer and Morty were mortified to see you laughing, or actually, you were absolutely losing your shit because of their insults together and then all hell broke loose when you shoved the flask into your bra and cupped your two hands around your mouth to scream, _"Race wars!"_

Fires started, building windows smashed and cars were literally flipped over. Morty hid behind you while Summed and yourself crouched behind a car and there were people beating each other with whatever long, blunt object they could find, "O-Oh, way to go [Name] - you sta-started a race war."

Rolling your eyes, you simply scoffed and gave him a side-glance, "You mean _another_ race war."

"What the fu-"

"She didn't start it, they're the racists, I mean, I might have empowered them to follow their apparently misguided dreams." Summer attempted to defend you but she threw herself under the bus shortly after and then you noticed a man with no shirt, he had a long ponytail and think sideburns, his chest puffed out to show off his circle nipples when he finally caught sight of your two wide eyes, "Hey! What race are you guys!?"

Morty stood faster than your eyes could decipher and then there was three of him, he had lifted his shirt to show off his nipples and then he answered in a frightened voice, "N-None! See, normal nipples!"

You followed and almost fell over when you were about to lift your shirt as well but you were kept in control by Summer as she yelped and grabbed you quickly. Before you could shove her away, the man yelled and he got all the recently formed single-minded people's attention, "Hey! These freaks don't have a race! Get them!"

Morty screamed quickly and ran, leading Summer to grab your arm as the three of you started running while the people who had been fighting each other were now teamed up to get rid of the 'freaks' and you grew angered and annoyed by the hand leading you and because of the feelings in your legs when you had to pick up the pace, "Oh my god, I hate running!"

You grabbed the portal gun, your fingers finally finding the trigger as you shot it right in front of Morty as he ran straight through it as Summer and yourself followed and then it disappeared behind you, both Morty and Summer were breathing in and out deeply as their postures slouched in relief and you smiled, gloatingly as you patiently waited for their words of gratitude, "Thanks.. [Name]."

"Yeah, you really saved us there, [Name]."

"[Name]?"

You looked ahead to see Unity while she laid on a desk with other people from this planet as they all laid unconscious. There were party cups spilt everywhere, clothes were thrown randomly across the floors and the sofa and there were different kinds of liquids spilt on the table or the floors and you even caught sight of some purple powder n another table across the room which gave you some suggestive ideas.

"This place is messed up, you- mind controller-"

"Unity, this place is a mess." Summer spoke, cutting you off when she knew very well that you weren't in your right mind. You shut your mouth and glared at Unity as Its hair was a mess, its clothes were dirty and messed up and then it looked up with two half-lidded eyes, "Oh, it's fine, the me that's a cleaning lady is coming on Friday."

Morty looked at you briefly and then spoke as Unity stood up, "Unity, can you get Rick out here please."

"He's.. unavailable, he's.."

"Having sex with you, we know. Gross." Summer crossed her arms and still asked for Rick, to see him so that they could leave but you were still angry and you weren't even entirely sure why anymore. You hated that you had to go to that damn alien ship at the start of the episode to loot the empty ship and you really wanted to avoid Rick. You really should be avoiding him but your feelings of attachment only grew ten times stronger when you had seen him again.

He was in the news frequently and you had him on a tracker as well so that you knew where he was in case something happened to him - it's not like he'd need it though. You still had to know if he was okay but he was in another room in the same building as you, fucking another thing that wasn't even an actual person, but a thing that controlled people.

"..-ilthy.."

"[Name]?"

"Uh~ what d-do you _urrrrrp_ -want?" Rick emerged from another room, in one hand he held a beer or something resembling a beer as he held onto the pillar beside him to avoid falling. He was wearing a sombrero while drool fell down his lip again and he had a bullet belt tied around his chest with a gun sitting in a gun holster on the band of his pants, "Jeez, Rick, let's go home, okay?"

Rick looked at you oddly, leaning over in his drunken state to stare at you with half-lidded eyes and his eyes stared into your green-coloured ones, "Wh-what? I don't wanna le- _urp_ -leave." The force of the burp from the alcohol and drugs he'd taken made him jump slightly and he hiccuped.

"I know- I'm- I'm sorry fo-for everything, alri-alright? Le-lets for..." Morty waited patiently, Summer watched you with a raised brow as it looked as if you had fallen asleep standing, "-forget about what happened twenty years ago, I-I mi-mi-miss you.."

Tears began building at your eyes and Unity stopped as well, sobering up to listen to what you had to say while Rick stared at you indifferently, "I'll b-be good, le-let's just g-go, com-come on Rick."

He almost growled and backed away to go to the table, "Urgh~ Fine!" You watched as he shot his portal gun at the wall and then yelled, "Cya!"

"N-No, Rick, I won't leave without you, not af-after I left you before _dammit!_ " He raised a brow and the terrifying thing to comprehend was the possibility that Rick could either remember what was going on and what you were saying or he would completely forget as if it never happened.

He burped and rolled his eyes, "Alright, I get it, y- _ururp_ -you guys are scared the big, bad hivemind is gonna scare your grandpa away~!" His gaze lingered on you and he noticed the way you pouted, biting your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying when Summer took a stance in front of you, "Actually, no. I think Unity's great and you're a horrible influence on it."

To their surprise, both Rick and yourself answered simultaneously, "What?"

"It's not healthy here, you know? Yo-You're really up to n-no good around here, you know?" Morty stepped forward and he motioned towards the unconscious people and the drinks and the mess of the place as Summer continued for him, "You and Unity are like- like.. Vikings and mid-calf boots. You think you're great together, but you're bringing out the worst in each other!"

She pointed at her grandpa condescendingly and Rick walked around her to stand next to the television that was present on the wall, he stood by Unity and you wiped the tears from your face to glare at him and then at Unity.

"Wo-wow, Summer, gee, well put. Why don't we see what Unity thinks." A man had been sitting on the floor, bent over awkwardly with a dazed smile on his face, "Hey, I'm fine. I'm just relaxing - you know, it's good to take a break to have fun sometimes.."

He switched on the television, smiling as the two TV reporters spoke, _'And here's a special update, It looks worse than it really is, we're fine. Back to you, Karen.'_

The other reporter smiled, _'Thanks, Todd, here up next, Are you a concerned Grandchild or just a buzzkill?'_

"Alright fine, but at least... _Shit_ , I guess do it for o-your grandkids." You looked over to them as you gained Rick's attention but you knew it was pointless and Summer actually looked hopeful, "This isn't gonna work, let's just le-leave.."

"Wha- but grandm-"

" _Sum Sum._ Rick doesn't care, he just thinks you're a hyper-emotional, needy, little human. He can tolerate your whining and your arguments but it doesn't mean he gives a shit. Come on." All the beings that were Unity stared at you with a look, a look that appeared worried but you ignored it as you walked to the portal and entered it and then you were at their home.

Morty and Summer found themselves in the garage where they saw you looking around Ricks things on his desk, "Alright we-"

"Wait, pl-please.." Morty stopped you when he notices your awkward glances and he coughed to clear his throat when Summer glanced at him and then to you, you waited for him and he rubbed the back of his neck, "Cou-could you maybe, like.. stay? Just for a little while.."

Meanwhile, as Rick was prepping himself to see how far he could go with Unity because his grandkids were finally gone. He couldn't deny that he might've hoped that you would've stayed too because this seemed like your type of atmosphere but he was probably wrong, he didn't care anyway. As long as he was doing this then he was fine. He walked out of the bathroom to call out for Unity, but the room was empty. There were papers all on the floor and they had writing on them, the papers were placed everywhere in and out of the building and Rick walked around picking them up from the floor, grabbing them from the roads to see what Unity had to say.

Unity explained that she enjoyed her time with Rick but they couldn't be together. Unity said that they were too alike in the sense that both of them turn each other into mirror images of themselves, though in Rick's case, he does so through bad influence rather than assimilation.

Unity mentioned that Rick was even better at fulfilling what itself was destined to do, through coming into existence as a hive-mind; that Rick is able to change others yet is not able to be reformed himself, which leads to his self-destructive, reckless nature eventually bringing those around him down with him and invariably sentences them to suffer because of his own emotional barriers and methods of resisting the inevitability of meaninglessness and his own pain.

Unity ended the long, long letter by affirming that it loves him and is upset it cannot be with him.

Rick came home to find his daughter seated besides you while Summer and Morty also sat on the sofa. Everyones' faces were neutral and just as Beth had seen her Father, she stood up and spoke before he could disappear to the garage,

"Wait, Dad-"

He stopped and you kept your gaze on the TV while listening, "I-.. Jerry and I were in the garage, looking for the weed-whacker and we.. found your subterranean lair and we found your alien prisoner.." Rick kept a bored face, not saying anything while Beth spoke and her children watched, "And it got away.. and I know I sound like Mom when I say this but I can't jeopardise this family's safety just because I'm afraid you'll leave again-"

"So, no more alien prisoners and no more subterranean excavation without consulting us."

"Okay." He replied short and simple and you raised a brow, one thing ringing through your mind than anything else Beth just said, her voice was unsure and nervous and you assumed it was due to the fear that Rick could leave within the snap of a finger and never come back if he wanted to. Or if he was pushed to do it hard enough.

"Ok-Okay? Okay, a-as in like you're gonna go teleport somewhere and never come back-..?"

"No~ It's your house.." You turned to see him walking away before Summer asked him about Unity, "Who? Oh, Unity - well, it was alright and all but we're talking about an entity that thrives off of enslavement, I mean- it's not cool."

His eyes found yours and you didn't know if you should've looked away or not. Perhaps it was the immense sadness in his eyes that spoke out to you, calling for you and you didn't know if you should've followed him or not into the garage.

He left and he downed the rest of his flask. He stared at the contraption on the desk before assembling it and then he grabbed a frozen cronenburg-like creature and poured an orange liquid on it, drinking the rest while the creature cried and screamed.

Rick, on the verge of tears, comforted the deranged creature to lovingly shush it before he attached a lightbulb to the contraption and held the creature in it's aiming range before he watched it turn to dust in his hands. He stared at it for a while before sitting and attaching another lightbulb as the previous one had exploded.

He placed his own head in the aiming range and waited, feeling himself go numb but nothing happened and he passed out.

He didn't realise that if someone didn't walk in, then he would've been gone because it was you who had moved the machine upwards so it missed his head. He sat passed out from the alcohol and sleep deprivation and you hugged him into your chest, using your palm to affectionately rub his head while he slept and you couldn't help smiling because you finally had him in your arms.

_'And it got away.. and I know I sound like Mom when I say this but I can't jeopardise this family's safety just because I'm afraid you'll leave again-'_

_Why did she say 'again?'_


	7. s02/e04 - total rickall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> parasites plant fake memories in their heads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/3

Rick stayed completely unaware of the fact that you held him so closely to your heart. The machine had broken down after having the light bulb explode and you couldn't help smiling with glee when you managed to reach him in time without having him notice. He was breathing in deeply and you couldn't help mutter to yourself as you held him carefully to reach for the portal gun in the waistband of your shorts while shooting a portal on the ground,

"Don't leave me, Rick."

You pushed him into the portal, his back facing down and then he fell from the ceiling of his room onto his bed. From the garage, after the portal had closed, you then shot another one at the wall and walked through while everyone in the Smiths home was in bed and asleep.

Rick had passed out and was asleep throughout the entire night and then most of the next day too. Summer and Morty hadn't seen you the entire time but they enjoyed the silent day in to watch TV and go on their phones. The house was unusually quiet and when Rick woke up, he formulated a gaseous mixture to spray it into his eyes. As he blinked, his sight cleared and his hangover slowly dispersed as he helped himself to the garage to find that the contraption was still there, almost mocking him for his failure.

He didn't give it too much thought when he opened the monitor on the work bench to search for you. He typed your name and cursed to himself when he realised that he should've gotten your DNA because he had no idea where you could've been at the moment.

All he really remembered; though it was still hazy, was the words that fell from your mouth when you were intoxicated and in tears when you tried to make him leave Unity. When you told him to forget what had happened twenty years ago. He didn't know what you were talking about.

_'I know- I'm- I'm sorry fo-for everything, alri-alright? Le-lets for...'_

_'-forget about what happened twenty years ago, I-I mi-mi-miss you..'_

_'I'll b-be good, le-let's just g-go, com-come on Rick.'_

He almost slammed his clenched fists on the bench in anger as one listing showed up after scanning through all the multiverse. The monitor had the ability to search all the beings of the multiverse and yet there was only one thing on you. Nothing about other versions of you in other universes and he only read two things about you. It was like you were a complete ghost or someone you was pretending to be someone else. Because in front of him, his anger grew while his eyes read over the short section that was just deemed a waste of time; 

_'First Name - [Name]_

_Last Name - N/A_

_Dimension - C-137_

_Further information is null'_

The next morning as Beth, Jerry, Morty and Summer sat around the table, they ate with Steve at the head of the table. Jerry had been mindlessly looking through his tablet and then found an email, smiling slightly as he got Steve's attention, "Steve, I just got a weird email - did you buy us airline tickets?"

Summer, Morty and Beth perked up at the news while Steve laughed nervously, "Oh shoot it was supposed to be a surprise, I wanted to thank you all for letting me live here all this time.. So I'm treating the family to a vacation!"

All of them except for Steve noticed you as you made yourself known to lean on the wall of the entrance to the kitchen, they all smiled and thanked Steve while you watched him skeptically and then Rick came through as well, throwing out some green space rocks while Jerry narrowed his gaze on him, "Rick, I don't like glowing rocks in the trash."

The older male took a sip from his flask and then pointed his finger at Jerry, "Well I don't like your unemployed genes inside my Grandchildren, Jerry~. But life is made full of little concessions." He rolled his eyes and you couldn't help smirk while he took another swig of the flask in his hand.

Jerry looked down defeatedly and Steve saw this, placing a reassuring hand on Jerry's shoulder while shaking him lightly for his attention, "You're gonna land on your feet, Jer. Some company is count thank their lucky stars they hired you, little brother."

"Who the fuck is this guy?" Rick looked at you and he didn't say anything to defend Steve like the rest of the family did. You had crossed your arms and raised a brow at him causing Steve to look back at you and smile, "Hey, someones been spending to much time around glowing rocks, right?" Steve laughed and it caused the family to laugh too and Rick just stared at them when your face hadn't changed. Jerry noticed and thought he should clear everything up for you, "This is my goofy brother, Steve~" He spoke as if it was obvious, "He's been living with us for almost a year, are you losing your mind?" Morty chuckled some more whilst agreeing with his Dad and Rick looked at you.

You stared back and admired the annoyed look on his face, you made two finger guns pointing at Steve's head and then made shooting noises under your breath, Rick got the idea, smiled a little at you and then took out his laser gun.

He shot Steve in the head and bright pink blood splatted out. Morty, Summer, Beth and Jerry were quick to react, screaming in fear and shock at what happened before Steve revealed his true form to be a parasite in a light blue/white tube-like body and tiny legs too. They yelled at Rick for shooting him before Rick shut them up, "That's a parasite and there was no 'Uncle Steve.'"

"B-But I've known him my whole life.."

"No you haven't, Jerry."

He continued and you checked out the alien parasite as the scientist grabbed it, slamming it on the table for its blood to splat along Jerry and Mortys plates while they watched it horrifically. Rick had gloves on, he grabbed the tiny tentacle-like pieces that hung out of what you guessed was its mouth and then he flicked them away with disgust, "These telepathic, little ba-bastards, they inked themselves in memories and th-the-t-they use that to multiply and spread and then take over planets."

Rick picked up the arm of the parasite and then flicked it away in Mortys direction, "It's di-disgusting!" Morty flinched and you scoffed, "Uncle Steve wasn't real?!" 

You stepped forward to stand beside Mortys chair as you answer him, "He was a real piece of shit - he's a big one too, someone might've brought it in on the bottom of their shoe or on a piece of alien fruit." As you spoke, you noticed Ricks eyes moving to Summer as the teen raised her brow, "Someone?"

Morty and Jerry looked at her as well, "Get off the high road, Summer! We all got pink eye because you won't stop texting on the toilet."

You laughed to yourself as Morty spoke, still traumatised by having his fake Uncle killed in front of him, "Uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike!"

"No, 'Uncle Steve,'" Rick held his two hands up, air quoting himself with narrowed eyes, "Put the memory in your head so that it could live here!"

"The evidence is literally in front of you in the form of a dead parasite, Morty.." Rick saw you lift a palm to your face and he couldn't help agree, "The house could already be infested so we gotta watch out fo-f- _urrrrp_ -for any whacky, zany characters that pop up."

"Oo-wee, whatever you want Rick, we're here to help!" You looked to your side to see Mr. Poopybutthole as he sat on your shoulder, his arm loosely around the back of your head as he smiled, throwing a new set of bullets to Rick as he was reloading his laser gun to prepare for the parasites he was sure would come, "Thanks, Mr. Poopybutthole, I always could count on you."


	8. s02/e04 - total rickall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> parasites plant fake memories in their heads
> 
> flashbacks - _italics_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2/3

In the living room, Rick counted every person in the room and wrote it on a piece of paper for him to make sure that everyone there was supposed to be there because he knew how easily his stupid family could be fooled.

There was a large seven on the wall as you sat on the couch, Morty sat beside you as Summer stood by her mum near the window. Jerry was behind the couch and Mr. Poopybutthole was standing near you in front of the couch, "Alright there's seven people here, so there must always be seven." He looked aggravated and paranoid and Mr. Poopybutthole noticed this as he spoke loudly, a wide smile on his face, "Maybe~ you got the first one in time, Rick!"

Rick cocked his laser gun and spoke gruffly, "Can't take any chances." In a second, there were metal plates covering all the windows and doors that were sealed shut so that nothing could come inside or outside. You knew that once the parasites made themselves known, they would try to create pleasant memories so that they could convince Rick to let them out.

Beth stepped forward with her hands resting on her waist, "Dad, why is the house covered in blast shields?" You sat up, crossing a leg under your ass to sit more comfortably and burped, gaining their attention, " _Sweetie_ , you don't wanna know how many answers that question has."

She raised a brow, slight shock taking over her face and you realised your mistake, "Oh jeez are we really that paranoid now? I'm not a damn parasite, they're filthy and I could think of an infinite ways to take over a planet way more efficient than this."

The endearing name startled her, just as it startled Morty and Summer too. They were still sceptical about you and who you really were and they didn't understand what had happened when they heard another Summer calling you her Grandma. They couldn't comprehend how it could make sense unless you really were Ricks wife or ex-wife. Perhaps it happened in another dimension or a lot of them but they didn't know the one that stood in their living room right now.

Rick looked at you and he agreed, he didn't care for the way you said it because it was familiar to him, it was how he tended to speak as well and unlike his family, it didn't necessarily concern him due to the fact that there were alien parasites in their home, trying to plant false memories in their heads to multiply and take over their fucking planet.

"Oo-wee, I'm feeling~ a bit claustrophobic, this reminds me of that time we were all stuck on that elevator, you remember that?" Mr. Poopybutthole spoke with a high-pitched voice and everyone began looking around in thought as you grabbed the flask from your jacket pocket and twisted the cap open, answering before taking a drink, "Nope, not at all."

Everybody seemed to remember while you sat on the couch, reaching for the television remote before someone else came in through the doorway from the kitchen, "What the fuck?"

"Well you know, we really do get into strange situations as a family." You raised a brow when the family laughed at the sight of the new guy, we spoke with an Italian accent and he appeared friendly, smiling with a button up shirt with no sleeves as he wore jeans as well. He pointed to Mr. Poopybutthole and spoke again, "But maybe Mr. Poopypants is right, let's all go outside for some fresh air."

Morty countered him with little to no doubt at all, "C-come on cousin Nicky, we have to stay quarantined until we know there are no more of these things."

Rick acknowledged this and looked around, you noticed his eyes squinting as they moved to each person inside the house and then he looked back at the page on the wall, "Aye, I know what you're saying' Morty, back in Brooklyn, we got a sayin,' 'We're walking here~!"

Rick heard a quiet whistle and then he saw you, he noticed you rolling your eyes which caused him some irritation before you made another one of your signals that weren't subtle at all. You made two finger guns, pointing them at 'Cousin Nicky' and Rick got out his laser gun and shot without hesitation. He was grateful that you were paying attention to your surroundings when he almost, _almost_ let himself be fooled. Nicky screamed when the bullet penetrated his skin and then his normal skin that made him appear human had transformed and then he was just like Jerry's 'goofy brother Steve.'

"Cousin Nicky wa-was one of them too!?"

Morty backed away, a fearful look on his face and you stood to get away from the pink blood that sprayed over the side of the couch, "Th-Thanks.. [Name]." You lazily saluted Rick and he pointed to the page on the wall, "Seven, Morty!"

"There's supposed to only be seven of us and if there's eight then that obviously means someone isn't real. Rick and I shouldn't be the only ones who have to pay attention to it!" Morty looked at you and he was tempted to ask why you seemed so calm before his mother spoke over him, "But how did you know it was Nicky?"

Beth glanced at you and then to her Dad, Rick shrugged his shoulders quickly and answered, "I guessed, that's why I aimed for his shoulder. Plu-plus, [Name] told me to as well."

"So we can't even trust our own memories now? Nicky was the reason we found that old Nazi submarine, did that not even happen?"

"Highly likely that it didn't." Jerry raised a brow at you, looking all smug as he answered his wife with a certain pride that made you annoyed for some reason, "Of course it did!"

"Perhaps I'm biased but if that story never happened well then I wouldn't still be the family's butler!" He pranced around in a posh style, speaking with an English accent and he wore a tuxedo, holding a tray of green olives on a toothpick. The butler offered the tray to everyone, they all took an olive immediately and immersed themselves in the joys of having their own butler.

"Wait.."

"And if Mr. Beauregard wasn't our butler, I think it's safe to say that the family would be in a hell~ of a lot of trouble." Summer cut Rick off, approaching the butler to grab another toothpick as her family laughed at what she had said, "Wha-Wai- who the he- I've never heard of a _'Mr. Beauregard.'_ what's up with that, then?"

Summer looked at you crossing your arms as you watched the butler, glaring at him for answers but he didn't look nervous in the slightest when he answered you without a stutter, "You don't remember, [Name]? When I brought you inside from the curb when you were well, fairly intoxicated."

_"Lady [Name]? Oh dear, what are you doing here?"_

_He watched you cry into your arms as you laid helplessly on the road, lightly scratched upon your skin from the gravel and red cheeks from the alcohol. He saw the way your eyes were bloodshot and snot travelled from your nose to the outline of your lips as he_ _immediately grabbed his handkerchief to wipe the wetness away._

_You sobbed and once you had noticed the man who had approached you, you couldn't help yelling his name in desperation two hands reaching for him like a baby to its mother, "Mr._ _Beauregard!_ _Ple-please take m-me inside..."_

_He didn't waste a moment to pick you up, carrying you in his arms as he made it into the warm home and onto the couch. He left for a second to grab a blanket. He turned on the Television and found that Ball Fondlers was on. He left again once he noticed your eyes were stuck on the Television and then came back with a hot cup of cocoa in his hands. He sat with you, got two advils from his hand and gave them to you as you downed them with a water he had. When the water was gone, he slid back on the couch and allowed you to snuggle closer to him, "Everything will be alright, dear."_

_"Don't worry, [Name], I'm sure every bad thing will always come to an end." You smiled at Sleepy Gary as he lead an equally tired Jerry up to their room and you couldn't help smiling lightly._

"Oh.. I-" Rick took note of the slightly confused look on your face and wasn't sure what to do now but he couldn't think of that when he yelled, "Wait, no flashbacks!"

Sleepy Gary stood behind the couch besides Beth and then when you noticed the loudness of the laughter as everyone reminisced together, watching as Frankenstein laughed with Morty on the couch and a fucking velociraptor chuckled on the single couch, "Everybody stop remembering," Rick silenced the extra people in the room, "These parasites are like bedbugs and every flashback is another mattress! Look! There's one supposed to be seven people in this house." He ripped the paper from the wall to show it off and Beth answered, "But there's always been eleven."

"No! The fact that I wrote this number down means there's supposed to be four parasites."

"Are you sure about that, Rick?" Frankenstein gave him an odd look and Mr. Beauregard added, "Begging your pardon, Master Rick but I do recall a great deal of confusion surrounding that number."

Rick looked around at everyone and he was eager to come to a conclusion, he found your eyes watching his and he wanted to know what he could do but he was confused and he knew you were beginning to get confused too, "Alr- _urrrhp_ -right, there's supposed to be six, so it's; [Name] and me, Morty, Beth, Photography-Raptor, Jerry, Frankenstein, Mr. Beauregard, Mr. Poopybutthole and Summer."

He burped again and you felt warmth as you noticed the way he said your names together, Beth raised a single brow and questioned him, "Uh, Dad that's like ten people."

"Seven, ten, what's the difference~! I just love the number seven for no reason! Where's my pencil!?"

Another being showed up, he was a pen with arms and legs and he jumped to Rick with a smile, "Right here Rick, use me!"

"Awh, thanks, Pencilvester!" Rick drew another seven on the paper and stuck it to the wall.

"Ye-Yeah I guess that's what happened but I don't get why I'd do that.." He raised a hand to his face, thinking sceptically and you smiled at him, "Everyone makes mistakes, we'll get through this, Rick." Mr. Beauregard looked at you and smiled kindly, "I'm sure of it, Lady [Name]."


	9. s02/e04 - total rickall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> parasites plant fake memories in their heads 
> 
> flashbacks - _italics_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3/3

"Look I'm not used to being unsure for this long, I'm just gonna aim for shoulder starting with the weird girl." Rick scratched his head and then proceeded to aim at Summer. She noticed immediately and dodged the bullet that almost got her, it hit the corner of the television and you almost choked on your saliva, "Jesus Christ! Rick, that's your granddaughter!"

Summers' friend, Tinkle and her friends from their 'dreamland' came in, Jerry proclaimed that he'd known Beth and her husband Gary since high school and Frankenstein accused Summer of being fake. Beth and Mr. Poopybutthole doubted each other. Sleepy Gary convinced Rick that he wouldn't want to hurt his friends from the barbecue and hence Rick almost believed that Gary was a parasite but he let himself 'remember' and more people; a.k.a, parasites came into the house.

The entire living room was full of fake people or real people, no one knew and you weren't too sure either. A lot of them appeared so nice and you knew that you knew them and it terrified you so much to think that some of them could potentially be killed at the hands of the man you loved because they weren't really who they said they were.

"I think you should put the gun down and take down the blast shields." Sleepy Gary tried to control Rick but he wasn't having it, even when a lot of the people inside agreed with Gary, Rick backed away, "I can't do that, Gary."

"Rick, I'm- I, I mean, normally I wouldn't admit this but I'm ki-kinda scared..?" You walked up to him and he pointed the gun at you, his eyes watching you before he felt Frankenstein grabbing his arm, "Dammit, I didn't think I'd point a gun at you, my bad." He held the gun up and watched Frankenstein, "Cool watch, you got here Rick."

"Ye-" He was harshly pulled, "Okay~.. Tryna figure out how to lower the blast shields, huh? Anyone here think it's suspicious that a lot of people in here can't wait to get out of here?"

Frankenstein tried to grab the gun in Ricks' hand which resulted in a short fight, you feared for who could've been harmed and hence did nothing when Rick was punched in the face and grabbed by two others to hold him on the chair. He looked over to you with a certain emotion in his eyes and you couldn't help coming to his side. Maybe it was because of the way he looked at you or maybe it was just the gravitation you felt that pulled you in but then you stopped, placing a single hand on Ricks' shoulder for comfort as you listened to Reverse Giraffe as he pondered his thoughts out loud, "Okay, so maybe we're just all fake! Or maybe.. there's only one deceiver here, the person that keeps telling us that the path to salvation is being held captive and mistrusting each other."

"Hey, don't blame me! I tried to shoot Summer ten minutes ago!"

"I know we all have beloved memories of Rick but are we really supposed to believe that a mad scientist inventor with a flying car just showed up on our doorstep after being gone for years?"

Morty appeared beside Reverse Giraffe and looked up at the talking animal with short limbs and a long neck, "Yeah, you know he does have a lot of weird, made-up-sounding catchphrases."

_'Wubba lubba dub dub!'_

_'Rikki-tikki-tavi biatch'_

_'And that's the wa~y the news goes!'_

_'Hit the sack, Jack'_

_'Uh-O~h summer salt, jump!'_

_'Aids!'_

_'Shum-shum-shlippidy domp!'_

_'Gra~ss.. Taste bad-ah.'_

_No jumpin' in the sewer!'_

_'Burger time!'_

_'Rubber baby baaby bunkers!'_

_'Lick, lick, lick my balls!'_

Beth began doubting her own father and Morty argued that Rick should just find the easy way out so that no more problems arise and that he should just open the house and take away the blast shields, "No, shut up Morty, we can't open the fucking blast shields!"

He narrowed his eyes at you, "Who the hell are you anyway!? You li-literally came out of nowhere, are you really real, huh, [Name]?" You couldn't help holding in a gasp, Rick noticed your distress and whether it was in your defence or his, he spoke quickly and in a harsh tone, "Why don't you make me, implausibly, naive, pubescent boy with an old Jewish comedy writers name?"

"Ooohh~!"

You looked around and bit your lip as you didn't know what to do, you didn't know whose side to be on and Frankenstein handed Morty the gun to have Rick taken to the garage since he claimed that he didn't want to do this in front of Pencilvester. An overgrown duck with masculine arms and baby wizard lead Rick to the garage where Morty followed with a gun to his back. As he left, you were tempted to go with them but you also wanted to be calmed down by Mr Beauregard, that was until Morty turned around, "You come as well, '[Name]'."

He put air quotes between your name and you couldn't help scoffing, "Just cause you _think_ I'm a parasite, doesn't change what my name could be. This isn't a fucking Scooby-doo episode."

You were let in as Morty shut the door behind you, they had Rick bent at his knees and you watched him when he rolled his eyes, "Seriously, why is she here? Are you making her watch or something, you sick, twisted kid."

Morty pointed the gun at Rick, asking if he wanted to live because if so, then he'd have to open the blast shields which you knew, Rick wouldn't do, "Shut up, Morty, you brainwashed little turd that might not even be real because I'm brainwashed too."

"Co-come on Rick, Yo-you know, we all remember you as a friend!"

"Oh really? Well, I remember you as a whiny, little piece of shit, Morty. Why don't you just do us both a favour and shoot me, come on, shoot me mother fucker! Fucking do it!"

Morty stopped and he almost lowered the gun and he didn't move until two shots were fired. Two parasites were dead on the floor and Rick stood, confused and relieved and he stared at his grandson, "Holy shit!"

"I-I've got it! The parasites are only planting good memories and I know you're real cause I've got so many terrible ones with you!" Rick looked at him stunned, "Oh my god, you're right!" 

"Yes, Morty! Well done, Oh my god, I'm so happy you've figured it out!" You cheered to yourself, smiling as Rick walked to the wall to press something before he turned around as Morty was being quiet, he still had the gun in his hand and then it was being pointed at you, "Woah, Morty, what are you doing?"

You flinched and your smile turned to a scowl, "Wh-what the heck, Morty?"

"I don't recall having an-any memories with you, [Name].." Rick also stopped what he was doing and you could see his face twisting into one of slight fear or maybe nervousness, he looked at you and looked at Morty and you knew Morty was right, perhaps they didn't have any memories with you.

"He's right, [Name], the insanely weird, sexy and incredibly smart girl who _happens_ to sell illegal drinks to people across the multiverse and now just _happens_ to make herself at home in _my house._ " You didn't know what to say and there was literally nothing to do, "Bu-But there was meant to be seven on the wall, yo-you remember Rick! I was apart of that seven!"

"Seven doesn't even matter now, have you even been here the entire time?!" He smirked and your back was against the wall, "We-well only Rick should be able to remember me, I mean, I was only with Rick before everything, _ever_ , started! I mean I was barely here before episode two!" They caught the sweat dripping from your forehead and then Rick was watching your every move, confused about what you were saying before he remembered something.

_He saw you in the kitchen; well it was like the kitchen but it was made with the intention of mixing and creating extraterrestrial drinks to reach a high that neither Rick nor you had reached before. He couldn't help smiling to himself, enjoying the view of his wife; your ring shining on your ring finger, as you added different types of powders into the test-tube._

_He approached you, his arms immediately going around your waist and he loved the small yelp that escaped your addictive lips as he chuckled against your back. You felt the vibrations and smiled, your neck craning upwards as Rick allowed his lips to meet the skin of your neck, kissing it delicately after a long and hard night._

_"Ri-Rick..."_

_"Yeah, baby?"_

_"I'm trying to make something for you, you're distracting m-me.." He loved the way you stuttered as he kissed you, he absolutely cherished the effect he had on you, "But I want to distract you, you're so damn hot.."_

_"Oh god..." He almost stopped and you got his full attention when you didn't speak, you took a sip of the drink you had made and then he noticed your eyes slowly turning green, "What, what is it?"_

_"I can't believe I actually married you." He smiled and you grinned at the sight of his lovestruck eyes on you, "It's cause you love me! And I love you too, baby~!"_

"O-Oh.. My god.."

"R-Rick? Wh-what is it?"

You noticed water building in Ricks' eyes but he held it back, quickly wiping them away as Morty almost lowered the gun, you had been tearing up a little as well; at the fear of death and at the realisation that Rick knew, he knew who you were now, "Wa-wa-wa-wait! Th-bu, how? Oh god! Don't ever leave me again, wh-I don't understand, why am I crying!" He rushed to you, taking you in his arms and you allowed yourself to be taken wholly into him. He had the scent of home and you hung on until Morty spoke, "Uh-Ri-"

"Not now Morty! Th-This is my- my wi-"

"Bu-.. Rick, I ju-just, I just said that the-they plant pleasant memories-"

Within an instant, Rick had you at arm's length. His hands holding your shoulders tightly while you stopped crying to look at him with wide eyes. He wiped the tears away, anger building in him when he realised he'd been fooled big-time and you shook your head rapidly as the desperation practically seeped through your face and onto the ground before you, begging to not be shot or killed like this.

"N-n-no! Morty, wait!"

"Dammit! You got me good, y-you fucking ba-bastard!" Rick was angry, he felt betrayed and used and vulnerable and you hated yourself for doing what had been done, "Morty, d-don't shoot! Ri-Rick! We've fought, I swear to you, w-we have!"

"Oh yeah! You lying bitch! When, huh?"

_"What the fuck was that, huh?!"_

_"What the hell are you babbling on about now,_ _Rick?" You rolled your eyes, walking away from his lab as he followed you, yelling at you with two hard eyes, "I mean, why the hell were you with that guy, don't you lie to me, [Name]!"_

_"Jesus Christ, I was trying to make a deal for my shit, I'm gonna sell it and go big! You're so fucking paranoid, what are you, my dad!?"_

_He stopped, raised a brow and stopped himself from saying something stupid, "What, aren't you gonna take the opportunity to call yourself my 'Daddy' or some kinky shit like that?" You crossed your arms, facing him when he didn't speak and then leaned your weight on one foot to the side, "You lying bitch, I know what I saw!"_

_He didn't care about what you said and kept going, you would've been surprised if you weren't so pissed off, "I fucking told you, Rick, I wanted to sell my shit and you said you'd help me and you fucking said you'd even help distribute it cause it's insane and now you're acting like a shitty little bitch, leave me alone!"_

"Ri-... Rick?"

He looked at you again, seeing the same person from his memories only now you looked a bit older. He didn't know when it happened, but it was true that the both of you did fight, his face changed and he looked exhausted, he came to you again and this time Morty lowered the gun to his side while he watched his grandpa actually embrace someone, "Whe-where have you been..?"

"Wh- you have to tell me why you le-left." You didn't know what to say, completely speechless.

He saw this and he almost teared up again, preparing himself for what was to come because he had to kill the parasites now. He held your hand, he lead you to the wall where it slid open and then there was an entire wall full of intergalactic weapons, "Yo- I can't beli-"

Morty walked up to you slowly, he saw the tears still slowly falling from your eyes and you wiped them away, Rick felt his lips twitch upwards at the sight, "Wa-wait, so are you re-really my gran-"

The person in front of Morty and besides Rick practically exploded, Rick closed his eyes, flinching as pink blood sprayed on his face and Morty grew horrified as he noticed you turning into a parasite, just like the other two on the floor. He screamed and then Rick screamed too. Only Rick's scream was of heartbreak and of utter nihilism.

"Oh my god, was that supposed to be me? My ass is so~ much tighter than that shitty replicas." You smiled, the green portal closing behind you as the gun in your hand powered down.

**Author's Note:**

> Rick, Summer and Morty essentially break time and end up non-existent to any timeline.


End file.
